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two big fatties..
two big fatties.. avatar

by on Jul.11, 2011, under ramblings

There is this couple that gets on the train in the morning, both quite large, so large in fact that they can’t sit next to each other on the same seat on the train. They even get the late train that gets you to work on the dot of 8:30 so they can get a seat at all. These are the same two fatties that used to get on the train everyday with a 1.25 of coke each on the 6:50 a year or so ago.

They also try line themselves up with where the doors of the carriage will stop on the platform to get on first. Admittedly we all try to do this, except those assholes that push in from the side in front of the yellow line while the rest of us are waiting for the train to stop. Once before the fatties even bumped me out the way with their fat asses when the train stopped directly in front of me.

Well today it seems I had a small victory.

The platform for the late train has changed and the platforms offset a little pushing the train forward 3m or so further than platform 1. Me being the somewhat intelligent young man I am placed myself patiently that little bit further forward to match. The fatties on the other hand with their fat addled brains sat directly opposite where they would wait on platform 1.

As the train slowly rolled up and I saw the look on the fatties faces, I got a small burst of excitement course through my body, as the train finally came to a stop with the doors directly in front of me, a big smile grew across my face. As I reached out to press the button to open the door, I saw a large stubble arm with short fat greasy little digits trying to race me to the same button. Another cheek wave of satisfaction washed over me.

This is when the proverbial icing met the cake, which I’m sure the fatties would have devoured if it weren’t a metaphor for my glee. Mr fatty tried to push in front of me, I saw his head painfully swivel on its neckless base toward an empty seat, a stubble hand motion to Mrs fatty, perspiration dripping from her brow as she was preparing to take those 10th steps to the pair of seats they had spotted.

NOT TODAY FATMAN!

I stood my ground, my legs ready to take the brunt of 300kg of over fed human flesh, the doors opened, Mr fatty shoved his arm in front of me in an attempt to get in first, but as his gut hit the side of the train he couldn’t shove his chubby limb any further in my way.

I walked in casually, the battle won. Then to add the cherry to that earlier icing and cakey goodness, i slowly wandered on up and sat in the seat the fatties wanted. Well, one of the seats. Mrs fatty gave me a death stare and then sat facing away from me, Mr fatty on the other hand gave me a death stare for a whole 5mins! Ooooh. I’m shaking in my boots.

The small victories are always the best.


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