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agent 007, goldenshower..
agent 007, goldenshower.. avatar

by on Apr.02, 2012, under ramblings

 so if you’ve known me a while, you know my thoughts on this, but i’d like to put it out there again as a causal reminder that females everywhere are the reason why guys piss all over the floor, the walls, and the toilet seat. how you ask? quite simple. read on and you will grow more intelligent and become a better person.

have you ever noticed how women have these special little bags to palce their bras and panties in (panties btw, is a word only homos use) to wash them. they take extra special care of their underwear, and it comes out fresh, clean, shiny and in one piece.. but most importantly – lint free, cause lets face it, nobody wants a linty vag. i’m also torn on if its a vag or a vaj, but i’ll let you decide on that one.

what happens to the guys underwear? it gets thrown in with the towels and the rags. as the guys undies are washed, they gather all the lint from the towells and other shit. when the undies dry, there is no easy way to get rid of the lint short of re-washing them. could you imagine getting the lint brush into the ball bag bit of a pair of jocks? no me either.

so guys being the responsible non-water wasting folk that they are wear their undies lint and all. as the guy gets a bit moist with a thin film of sweat, combined with the subtle movements of what we call in the industry “the ball bag” the lint dislodges from the fabric. as the guy stops for lunch or whatever else, he stops sweating, his balls stop moving about, and some of the lint may stick back to the fabric, but other lint may find itself stuck firmly on a chunk of man snag.

do you see where this is heading? no? well read on ladies!

the guy needs to relieve himself after lunch, and goes to the urinal or the cubical and lets fly a stream obscured by the aforementioned lint jammed right in the end of their knob. the stream is broken and skewed in all manner of completely uncontrollable directions, and there you have it, guys pissing on walls, floors, toilet seats and even ceilings all over the world. shit i’ve even accidentally pissed on my own leg. totally unpredictable, totally unexpected, and totally not our fault. women don’t understand the importance of separating the jocks from the linty stuff. -but we’re the ones getting in trouble for it.

whats more amusing is that women say “oh oh how come you cant get it in the toilet, i can – you’re useless!” seriously, you lot come up with the stupidest questions/analogies. you’re sitting down on a toilet. if we sat down we could pee in the bowl too – lint and all! if ladies couldnt get it in the bowl while sitting down i’d be slightly worried.

so there you have it. if you want more mysteries of the world solved, i’m here all week.


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