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Archive for November, 2014

Enjoy The Silence
Enjoy The Silence avatar

by on Nov.29, 2014, under music i like

A nice little Depeche Mode cover

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Maybe he’s a magician?
Maybe he’s a magician? avatar

by on Nov.22, 2014, under ramblings

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I just saw a Carl Barron box set of DVDs at the shops. I want to know how you can make one joke span four DVDs?

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I have decided that my future is to breed fat children in Dubai
I have decided that my future is to breed fat children in Dubai avatar

by on Nov.19, 2014, under ramblings

So according to this news article there is a competition in Dubai that for every kilogram your child loses, you get a gram of gold.

http://m.gulfnews.com/news/uae/general/long-lines-in-dubai-for-your-child-in-gold-contest-1.1360630

My Grandad always said I was going to come up with a great idea and become a rich man one day and I think that this here is my idea of ideas!

I think my plan of attack will be to accept donations of multiple children, I don’t think I could subject my own offspring to the fattening as I feel bad enough that Takkun is a bit of a porker at times. Once I receive a donation of a small child, I’ll feed them on a rich diet of duck fat and pork belly and the ultimate single hit of calories – the KFC double.

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While I’m porking up my golden goose I’ll get them addicted to video games.. Once the competition begins I’ll rig up a big running wheel or treadmill which will power the television, I’ll put little lard arse onĀ  said treadmill and with a carefully calculated concoction of methamphetamine and laxatives I’ll have the kilos off in no time.

If I can get a kid up to 100kg and back down to 50kg again that’s 50g of gold which equates to a cool $2200 at that rate, I’ll only need 454.5 children to become a millionaire, not taking into account the cost of KFC and meth.

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I might not wear black anymore but I still love the music
I might not wear black anymore but I still love the music avatar

by on Nov.19, 2014, under ramblings

if you’ve got delicate ears I’d probably suggest you give it a miss.

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