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Tag: losers

the adventures of ipad man..
the adventures of ipad man.. avatar

by on Jul.18, 2011, under ramblings

I would argue that there has been an increased number of weirdos on the train lately. I’m not tremendously weird myself but they certainly make me look like the most normal person on planet earth.

IPad man is one of these people. He stands there, clutching his Apple device in his arms while trying to read ebooks, then when the doors open he tries to sneak in the side, to increase his chances at success, he grabs the partially open door and tries to open it faster. Or maybe he’s trying to pull himself through between the door and the people ahead of him. In my recent battle with the fat man and his fat wife, I also thwarted iPad man on the other side of me.

Today, iPad man sat back away from the yellow line untilthe train rolled up, as the train approached, he held his iPad to his chest and leapt across the platform, nearly smashing into me in his effort to be first to the door. He grabbed the handle of the door while the train was still rolling to a stop and walked with the train until it stopped. He yanked hard on the handle, there was the usual delay before the driver unlocked the doors.

IPad man turned toward me, hunched over slightly, protecting his precious door handle from all the other crafty passengers that wanted to take it from him. He looked me in the eye, with a sinister look that only the world’s most fearsome super villain could manage, with a crooked smile and what looked like a lazy eye, our evil iPad wielding super villain, gave me his best mad scientist cackle.

He then surveyed the fruits of his victory, a near empty train carriage. Scampering over to an empty seat, he sat down and went back to his iPad. Probably mumbling something about small victories being the best victories. lol.

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